Sure, they'll be in Las Vegas and they could burn it up in a haze of pit games and luxury suites, but they'll want something to remember their extravagance with.
We're going to suggest that they do what we do every time we come into a large sum of money, spend it all in once place!
You've probably been told repeatedly to do exactly the opposite and NOT spend it all in one place but that shit doesn't play in this day and age.
Here's our one-stop shopping list to help the November Nine get rid of those pesky millions.
9th Place - $1.2 Million - The Chopard Super Ice Cube Watch
Who doesn't want a watch worth $1.1 million?
I've always said you aren't a true player until you have at least 66 carats of diamonds on your person. Plus, with the leftover $100k you can hire a team of sharp-shooters to keep an eye on your left wrist.
8th Place - $1.3 Million - Kharma's Grand Enigma Speakers
Have you ever listened to Dark Side of the Moon? Have you ever listened to Dark Side of the Moon on ... $1 million speakers?
If you're saying "But Sean you ass-hat, that's only $1 million, not $1.3," you're forgetting:
Million-dollar speakers are only useful as a coffee table unless you get a turntable, pre-amp, power amp and speaker cables.
$300k should hook you up with a nice Linn or MAC setup.
7th Place - $1.4 Million - Lamborghini Reventon
One of the rarest cars ever, Lamborghini only made 20 hand-numbered Reventons. Since the actual price depends on the Euros to dollars conversion at the time of purchase, the price of this car is listed as anywhere from $1.4 to $1.6 million.
Since only 20 were built, and they were all purchased before they came out of the factory, it's not really a car you can buy. But this ride's just far more fun than the oh-so-common Bugatti Veyron.
Also, since Ivey already owns a Veyron, if he finishes in 7th it just wouldn't make sense for him to buy another.
The Reventon, modeled after the F-22 Raptor fighter jet, rocks a disgusting 650 horsepower powerplant. Best of all, the instrument cluster was clearly stolen out of Night Rider.
6th Place - $1.5 Million - All five of the five most valuable comics of all time
Even non-comic-book fans have probably heard the words "Action Comics #1" spoken in that order. If you haven't you should have since it was the first time the world ever read the name Superman.
Sure you could buy a Picasso, or a Van Gogh, but the only reason to hang art on your walls in the first place is to impress company. The kind of company I want to be hanging out with would be much more impressed with these on my wall.
The framed picture above includes (in order from left to right):
Action Comics #1, 1938 (first appearance of Superman) - $440k
Detective Comics #27, 1939 (first appearance of Batman) - $375k
Marvel Comics #1, 1939 (first appearance of the Human Torch and other heroes) - $330k
Superman #1, 1939 (the first comic dedicated to Superman) - $270k
All American Comics #16, 1940 (first appearance of the Green Lantern) - $160k
5th Place - $1.9 Million - 1977 Learjet 36A
You're not a baller until you own your own jet. Sure this baby's over 30 years old, but it seats six, rocks leather club seating and even includes a built-in Freon air conditioner!
Let's be honest, this is the best damn plane you're going to get for $1.9 million. In fact, the plane itself only costs $1.77 million, but I'm assuming the whole taxes + insurance + jet fuel + getting a pilot part of things will probably run you at least the difference.
In fact, you should probably make it to a couple more Main Event final tables if you want to use this plane more than once.
4th Place - $2.5 Million - A two-month stay in the Hugh Hefner Sky Villa at the Palms Las Vegas
There is no single suite available for rent more baller than the Hugh Hef suite at the Palms. Or if there is, I don't want to know about it. Then again with a price tag of $40,000 per night, this better be the greatest suite ever built.
Some of the features of this include:
- Outdoor, cantilevered Playboy Jacuzzi pool with glass end (It literally hangs over the building giving you a sick view of the strip... or vertigo)
- Full Bar
- Gym with sauna and personal spa
- In-suite glass elevator
- Rotating bed
- Extra-large show tub
- Poker table
- And a private sunbathing area ... with a bar
If it's good enough for the Hef, it's good enough for me.
NOTE: Playboy Playmates to be shown off in the extra-large show tub cost extra.
3rd Place - $3.4 Million - Military Hovercraft
With this military-built gem you can roll up to your next party with style, or invade a small country.
This hovercraft is currently property of the Sri Lanka Navy, but can be yours for as little as $2.7 million. It has a 65-person capacity with a max speed of 50 knots (57 mph).
Yes, this only costs $2.7 million, but that only leaves you with $700k to hire your 64-man private militia.
Nothing says "let's party!" like a hovercraft spewing 64 armor-clad men with Kalashnikovs!
On the plus side, this baby is pretty much green, burning only 39.5 gallons of fuel per hour. Sure the Reventon was a sick car, but it can't carry your newly hired private militia over a lake now can it?
2nd Place - $5.1 Million - 1 Bedroom Manhattan Condo
At the bargain price of only $4.9 million, you can own this one bedroom, 1.5 bathroom condo in the historic 100-year-old Plaza building overlooking Central Park South.
This condo is a pre-war 1,212 square foot simplex with one of the best views in town and 6-star hotel services and amenities.
A beautiful old condo in the greatest city on earth. What more could you ask for?
1st Place - $8.5 Million -Six-bedroom home in Honolulu Hawaii
I'll tell you what more you could ask for: a ridiculously stunning mansion on one of the greatest beaches in the world, that's what's more.
9,200 square feet, 250-foot driveway, marble floors, pool, spa, built-in wine cooler, 270 degree ocean views and a master bedroom larger than my entire 2-bedroom apartment.
After seeing this place, finishing second to end up in a one-bedroom condo in New York seems almost like a punishment. Honestly, just take a look at that view. Sick.