Sasha Daygame: How to Pick Up a Girl at a Poker Tournament

16 September 2013, Created By:
Posted in: The Guest Blog

Note: Renowned "Pick-Up Artist" Sasha Daygame will be at the 2013 Battle of Malta and put together these suggestions for meeting girls at poker tournaments.

We apologize in advance to female poker players everywhere. But having seen thousands of ham-fisted, awkward pick-up moments at the poker table believe us when we say this is a marked improvement. Girls of Malta, you've been warned.

By Sasha Daygame

Hey guys!

Soon I’ll be on my way to play in the Battle of Malta poker tournament.

As you can imagine, poker tournaments aren’t exactly chock full of babes. If you’re a poker player who’s interested in meeting and connecting with women WHILE battling it out for final table domination… the odds are definitely not stacked in your favor.

This article is intended to even out those odds. Hey – poker players need love too, right?

So, the most likely (and probably easiest) situation in which to meet a girl at a poker tournament would be to approach her while she’s not at the table. This means before or after the event.

At the table is possible, but not recommended. First impressions count for a lot – it’s much trickier flirting with a girl at the table, so it’s best to catch her off the tables whenever possible.

OK: Let’s get into it! 

Before the Event

Paola Martin
You look determined to win this thing.

Before the event is likely your best option to approach a female player during an event. First off – she hasn’t been eliminated yet so she’s still in the building! If you wait too long she may lose her chips (and you your chance!)

Also, there’s an excitement before the tournament begins. Everyone is optimistic and bright eyed - the mood is good. 

If you’re going the more social route, keep in mind you don’t have to seal the deal before the break. You can meet her, get friendly, and then try and get her number or set up a date in one of the early breaks. Just hope she doesn’t go bust!

Here are some thoughts for ice-breakers you can use.

In general, I try not to teach “pickup-lines” because I like my students to think creatively and build up their innate charm.

I like to teach how to think in a situation so you can come up with something original instead of just memorizing a line that will come off as try hard.

Here’s a couple of ideas:

We all know most poker players go in there believing they’re going to win – so playing off this assumption can be a fun conversation starter. Something charming along the lines of:

“Hey, you look absolutely determined to win this thing. Remind me to stay out of your way!”

Or if you’re feeling more confident or are naturally a bit cocky:

“Hey, you look absolutely determined to win this thing. Remind me to stay out of your way – a clash this early in our relationship could mess up our whole romance!”

Obviously you need to have a bit of game if you go down that path. So you’d better have something to follow up with as she’ll likely ask “We’re having a romance, are we?”

Easy field, right?

I’d say something like “That’s the plan but... let’s just get through to the next break and talk about it then... Over a drink!”

Why not try:

“Easy field right, should be a cinch!” (wink)

Another fun and obvious topic would be the fact that every player thinks he/she is going to win. So, if you want to be a bit more fun/cocky... something like:

“Hey there. You look like you think you’re going to win this thing... but I’ve got some bad news... You’re coming second” (smile or wink)

Sometimes I make comments about making a deal... Such as:

“Hey, I know one of us is going to win this, we may as well just do a deal right now – 60/40 for me because I’m favorite”

The key to these is to smile or give her a cheesy little wink at the end so she knows you’re playing around. If you’re a German player she might take you seriously and start negotiating percentages!

During the Tournament

Okay, now let’s talk about DURING the tournament. If there’s a woman at your table, a good way to start out would be to have a fun/playful demeanor during the game.

Being friendly and talking to the dealer and other players is a great way to show her you’re a social, fun guy – not a boring poker pro! Most players are serious and just stick to their cards.

Margo Bonnelle
NEVER try and get her number or set up a date at the table.

That’s a definite no-no if you’re trying to get the attention of a poker babe at the table.

Once you’re warmed up, have a bit of fun with her in between hands. Tease her a bit, bust her on trying to use her female-skills to win the game! A couple of the fun themes from above can work too.

The most attractive thing you can do DURING the game, is to ENJOY YOURSELF and not take things too seriously. If you’ve made her giggle or have at least noticed a couple of looks in your direction from her - wait till the break and then start up a conversation with her and take things from there.

NEVER try and get her number or set up a date at the table. It’s way too much pressure on her and you’ll be putting her in a position where she’s forced to reject you in front of everybody. That’s a lose/lose situation!

On Breaks

Breaks aren’t a bad time to pick-up a woman at a poker tournament. Everyone’s got the same thing on their mind – survival. So, simple stuff like “Hey, how’s it going?” can do the trick.

However, a theme I’ve used before that’s very fun and flirty is referring to the fact that you may go up against her in a hand. Something like

“Excuse me… Hey I just wanted to let you know – just because you’re cute doesn’t mean I’m going to fold to you when I’m in the big blind. Just so you know.”

Or maybe a fun reference to making it to the final table, such as:

“Hey… If we make it heads up, don’t think I’m going to make it easy on you just because I have a crush on you. Alright?” (wink)

Here’s one I just thought up:

“Excuse me, I have a question. If we both make it to the final table, that counts as a date right?”

If we make the final table, that's a date right?

You want to keep things fun, light, and flirty.

After the Tournament

Okay, so after the tournament is done is probably my least favorite time to meet a woman during a tournament. Here’s why:

The tournament’s over. Statistically speaking, it’s likely that your love interest hasn’t won. If she went out on a bad beat, she may not be in the best mood.

But, standard conversational threads may include commenting on her good performance, or asking if she’s going to participate in another upcoming event can work. If all else fails, you can blame both of your misfortune on the cheating dealer!

The one advantage to approaching a woman after the tournament is that, should things go your way, you could go on a date with her RIGHT THEN. I mean, the tournament’s over, right?

Unless she’s a cash-game fanatic, why not drag her out of there and go for some green tea, a smoothie, or a bite to eat? Phone numbers are flakey but if you spend some time with her – there’s a much better chance you’ll be seeing her again.

Final Thoughts

Remember, the goal here is to get a date with the girl, right? So all this stuff is wasted if you don’t PULL THE TRIGGER and ask her out! 

Your primary goal should be to arrange to meet up with her at some point in the day. This can mean grabbing food with her during the lunch break, or meeting her at the end of the day’s play.

Trishelle Cannatella
I'll trade you a bad beat story.

It’s always best to hang out with the girl immediately and solidify the connection, but if that’s not in the cards (ha!) then grab her digits so you can fight another day. Simple is always best:

“Hey, you’re fun. We should hang out sometime. Let me get your number” and hand her your phone.

If you want to meet up during the event, you can say:

“Hey, let’s get some food at the break. I’ll trade you ONE BAD BEAT STORY for one of yours… and then we can have some human talk. What do you say?”

See? Easy as that. If it’s DURING the tournament and you can’t get her to eat with you during the break:

“Hey, you’re fun. We should hang out sometime. Let me get your number now – just in case one of us gets knocked out!”

WHEW! OK, that’s enough ideas to get you going. Meeting a woman at a poker tournament is the same as anywhere. Be creative, be fun – SMILE – and let nature take its course!

Just remember:

The game of seduction is no different than the game of poker (in fact, they’re super similar) and many of the same concepts apply, including this:

  • He who dares wins!

-Sasha Daygame


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Gerald 2013-10-16 09:37:59

Here's a guy who thinks if he works the word "calibrated" into his six-minute spiel eight or nine times it will impress women. I think most women would tell him: I won't consider going out with you until you stop using the word "calibrated" every other sentence.

Brendan 2013-09-21 08:57:51

zomg amazing article!

Infinito46 2013-09-18 15:48:22

Sasha is the best! Happy to see him invading the poker community! This guy really changed my dating life.

Really funny video here by the way(for the ones talking about indirect):

Guangjun 2013-09-17 18:28:14

I don't play poker but this reminds me of a weightlifting competition I attended sometime ago, definitely applies!

That Guy 2013-09-17 18:13:16

Poker Cards? Chips? Dice? Sounds like mystery method to me.... ;)

Justin 2013-09-17 14:24:23

Thank you for proliferating a normal well calibrated confident approach instead of some awkward kind of mysterious method..

Tab 2013-09-17 09:24:39

Wow who is the brunette at the bottom? She is smoking.

cap60c 2013-09-17 09:22:52

this guy can teach me nothing about anything particularly picking up girls


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