“This Is a Social Game, and Too Many People Seem to Forget That”: Interview With Sara O’Connor

A Chat with Sara O’Connor

Q: Greetings, Sara! Tell our readers everything you want them to know about yourself — age, education, career, your experience with poker, and so on.

Sara: My name is Sara O’Connor, and I love references to the movie Terminator! I’m 39 years old, and I was a lawyer for four years before leaving the practice to start my art business Sara O’Connor Fine Art.

I’ve been playing poker recreationally for three years and have really been enjoying connecting with people on Twitter/X to talk about the game we love. 

Two years ago, I came out with my first book, A New Queen’s Guide to Poker, which helps new players learn how to play in a casino with confidence. A few months ago, I published my second book, Shuffle Up and Deal With It: Tales from Dealers Worldwide, which is a collection of stories derived from interviews of dealers from around the world.

I also write for Pokerati, interviewing upcoming players and recreational players as well as sharing some opinion pieces. I have a few other projects in the development stages, so stay tuned! 

Q: What stakes and ABI do you play and how did you get to them?

Sara: I play $1/3, $2/3, $2/5, and $1/3/6. I’ll also play $1/2 or just for pride.

For tournaments, my buy-ins are normally on the lower side, from $250-$700.  I started out at $1/2 and $⅓ and built up my $5,000 bankroll that my grandmother bequested to me until I felt it was big enough to shot take higher stakes.

I’d love to try $5/10, especially since I’ve played $2/5 with a straddle, but the timing and bankroll have to be right.

Q: Which opponents in your games do you find the most difficult or unpleasant to play against and why?

Sara: I didn’t use to tilt, or at least I didn’t think I did when I first started out. However, I’ve learned that if a player is rude to the dealer or a fellow player, especially if that fellow player is on the newer side, that will tilt me.

I also don’t like when someone attacks me due to my gender or physicality, but I can deal with that more than if someone goes after someone who can’t fight back because their job could be impacted. Protect and appreciate dealers! 

Q: Why did you choose poker out of all the games?

Sara: Other games, like table games, are gambling.

Poker is cool because all sorts of people come together to battle and have fun. It’s competitive, fun, and challenges the mind and your own pride and preconceived notions of who you are as a competitor. I love it! 

Q: Share the cutest poker story that happened to you or before your eyes.

Sara: Honestly, it is hard to choose and I feel incredibly blessed. Probably the cutest poker story ever is one that happened relatively recently.

For the first time ever, a player who is becoming a friend told me one of my actual tells when I asked for one in a cash game! It was a timing tell, and he caught me doing it twice when we weren’t in a hand together and I had gone to showdown with the flopped nuts both times.

He asked me for one of his in return, and I told him I’d tell him when my session was done and we were away from the table. His was a betting tell pertaining to not raising enough consistently, and I didn’t want the table knowing if they hadn’t caught on already. Also, I didn’t want the table knowing his bankroll was pretty short, which I was beginning to suspect.

He said he thought he could guess what I was going to tell him before I told him, and we confirmed his tell together away from the table after my session. I really think he could be lethal once he gets that bankroll up a bit.

It was a beautiful and pure exchange of information between two new poker buddies to make each of us better players. It was one of the best interactions I’ve had hands down. A moment I will cherish for a long time.

Q: And what was the most terrible story (maybe this)?

Sara: In addition to the story you linked, there was a man at the table next to mine one session and he kept making eye contact with me and sending me air kisses. He would also occasionally mouth the words “I love you.” It made me incredibly uncomfortable, and the feeling only intensified when he came over to my table, put both of his hands on my shoulders, and whispered in my ear how beautiful he found me.

Please don’t ever do this to anyone you aren’t close friends with! 

Q: How did you get into writing, especially on poker-related topics?

Sara: Interestingly enough, it stemmed from a job interview to become a poker reporter for the WSOP that went bad. I tweeted about my interview experience, and that tweet went positively viral. I was then approached to write a piece on how WSOP reporters are treated during the summer and I haven’t stopped writing about poker since then! 

Q: What aspects of writing do you enjoy most and what aspects do you enjoy least?

Sara: Writing a book and writing articles is different, at least for me.

Writing a book is largely a solitary process that you have to hold yourself accountable to yourself until you get feedback from your test readers. While I wanted the accomplishment of writing a book as a lifetime goal, I think I enjoy article writing more. I like achieving things, and it is a less arduous task writing a punchy article than a full-fledged book. I also love collaborating and meeting cool people in the industry and picking their brains and finding out what gets them going through interviews. I feel very lucky.

I suppose I wish I had a bigger following so my work would have even more exposure, but that will come with time as long as I keep creating good content worth enjoying.

Q: Which poker books have been most helpful to you as a player so far, and which — most helpful to you as a poker book author?

Sara: Honestly, I’m really loving any of Alexander Fitzgerald’s books that I get my hands on. They have vastly helped me bump my aggression up to the next level.

However, I’m forever grateful for Ed Miller’s The Course. It helped me jump from $1/3 to $2/5 and conceptualize how I could organize A New Queen’s Guide to Poker.

A book hasn’t helped me the way — my dear friend and editor Shana Schwartz has. She was the first person I talked to about A New Queen’s Guide and she was a guiding, supportive light from start to publication. Moreover, she helped me realize I was working on three books, not one, which meant I got to write and interview people more. Win, win! 

Q: What non-poker books would you recommend to our readers, and why?

I love smut, so I’m a little shy to give out recommendations! I can, however, loudly recommend Shana Schwartz’s Flavors of the Month series.

My favorite non-smut book is a chapter book from my childhood, The Phantom Toolbooth. Such a fun, quirky read! 

Q: I saw your tweets about living with bipolar disorder — if it’s not a sensitive topic for you, please share: what difficulties and challenges does this condition bring to your poker experience? How does it affect your mental game, poker routine, and learning?

This is an excellent question. I always have to be alert for what I call “my brain catching on fire,” in other words, when I can’t calm down and am too geared up. This usually crops up when I run deep in a late night tournament and come back to play the next day or stay in the cardroom past 2 a.m.

I was once involuntarily hospitalized, and it was horrible. I never want to go through that again, and it takes constant vigilance.

This past week, I left a trip early because I was only getting five hours of sleep a night for a week, which is far from enough.

I could play for twenty-four hours straight, but it wouldn’t be safe, so I don’t. It can affect whether I sign up for a multi-day event, since I find it hard to fall asleep. Currently, I limit myself to, at most, two-day-long events. I could do longer events, as long as I felt I had my sleep under control.

Q: From what I understand from social media, you love to travel — could you recommend the best places you’ve visited to play poker to our readers?

I do love to travel and I hope to play in Spain when I go visit my father in December.

I really loved playing in the card rooms in Portland, Oregon, it felt very chill and welcoming. I was also impressed with Talking Stick in Phoenix, Arizona.

Call me biased since I worked at the Venetian this past summer as a poker host, but that room is so lovely and the staff is top notch.

If you’re coming in from out of town — get an Airbnb by King Street in Alexandria, Virginia to enjoy good food!