I am sitting here in my condo with 15 minutes left before I am supposed to get started playing online for the next 10-12 hours. This will be my second to last blogpost that I will write for 2009.
I am planning on writing my last one about my new year’s resolutions and 2009’s resolutions and how I did with them.
I am first going to have to come up with my 2010 resolutions, but my brain has been mulling this over for a few weeks now and I got a rough outline of what I want them to be.
"I Can't Seem to Have a Relationship Work Out"
I am insanely pumped for the next few months when it comes to poker. I have mapped out basically what I am going to be doing through Bay 101, basically being on the road starting with PCA and playing tons of live tournaments for the first 3 months of the year.
I have been going through a pretty rough time with my ex-girlfriend, as we have been talking over the last couple months since breaking up about whether or not we are making the right decision by separating.
It’s been an extremely difficult time for me, as I love her with all of my heart and wish that we could work things out. I know she loves me too and we both want what’s best for each other.
It worries me that I can’t seem to have a relationship work out. I want to eventually be able to get married and have a family. This is now the third relationship in which things have not worked out partially because of poker, and all three were in a different way.
The first one didn’t work because I had basically just discovered poker and was fascinated by the game and became addicted to it. I was playing 60-70 hours a week and let everything else in my life fall by the wayside.
I got my priorities straight eventually and learned to balance poker with other things in my life.
"Will I Ever Be Able to Have a Normal Relationship"
The second relationship that was affected by poker was with a girl who just basically did not approve of gambling. That relationship I should have known from the beginning was just not going to work out.
And this last relationship, with neither of those previous issues being the problem, just doesn’t work with how much time we have to spend apart.
Neither one of us is ready to make the jump to having her come with me on all my trips and make that commitment that we are going to basically get married. And it is just way too hard to maintain our relationship with me being on the road all the time.
Will I ever be able to have a normal relationship? Get married? Have a family? Do all poker players have these same issues? These are some of the questions I have been thinking about a lot recently.
Well here goes Sunday! Last day of MTTs for 2009 probably. GL me. Pz!