Rant: Esfandiari’s No-Sex Prop Bet a Walk in the Park

So Bill Perkins has issued Antonio Esfandiari the ultimate challenge.

Can the Magician go a whole year without having sex?

The bet came to light earlier this month when Perkins tweeted this during a trip to Ibiza and Stockholm with Esfandiari and Jeff Gross:

Big bet again.....antonio esfandiari no sex no release of any kind for one year...can he make it? @MagicAntonio @PokerNews— Bill Perkins (Guy) (@bp22) August 8, 2013

Whether the bet actually got booked or not is another question but either way it stimulated some discussion. Reading between the lines it seems the vast majority of the poker community believe this bet is an impossible one for Esfandiari.

But before we make an educated opinion we need to look at the finer details.

Define Sex

So what's Perkins definition of sex?

If he’s talking about penetrative sex then this bet is a no brainer. It’s nothing but a load of old bluster until the big O anyway, and you don’t need to have penetrative sex to find the big O.

If Perkins means sex of any kind, including the rather personal relationship that Esfandiari has with his hand, then we have a far more difficult bet.

In fact, Perkins does use the term "no release of any kind." Is he talking about a release clause from the prop bet or his ejaculate? Heaven forbid.

I’m assuming that Perkins is referring to penetrative sex in which case this bet is a doddle.

Esfandiari would even get something positive out of the experience. And all the talk of him living in Vegas, surrounded with hookers and a sex-mad city, is a load of old nonsense.

Do things change if Esfandiari is in a relationship? I guess that depends on his partner. You can’t accept the bet without your good lady also being in agreement.

But relationships usually have so many headaches I don’t see this being a problem. Some women might see it as a year of bliss.

You Can't Manage What You Can't Measure

We do have to remember that Esfandiari, just before this bet was supposedly agreed too, took a bet for $25,000 that he couldn’t eat bread for a year and then bought out for $5,000 90 minutes later.

This pretty much shows the sex bet will have to be in the deep six-figure category for Esfandiari to take it seriously.

I want to know how Perkins measures the success or failure of this bet? Maybe they can do a before and after sperm count of some kind?

Messy I know, but I can’t think of anything else. The prop bet falls flat on its face right here because you can’t manage what you can’t measure.

Am I the only person suffering from prop bet envy? All you have to do is not eat bread for a year and someone pays you $25k?

I would turn vegan for a year for $5k. If you want to give your money away then give it away to charity for pete's sake.

I remember Roberto Romanello and Praz Bansi offering to pay Rob Cowen between €3-5k to jump in a water fountain in the middle of Tallin and pretend to swim around it.

He did it ... who wouldn’t? I later told them I would have done it naked for €500.

Phil Ivey once begged Tom Dwan to take a million-dollar bet that Ivey couldn’t go vegetarian for a year. This was after Ivey originally wanted to take a $5 million bet!

“I’m going to lose. I know I’m going to lose. I’m going to be begging to settle in, like, 4 days," said Ivey.

Ivey lasted just 20 days before paying Dwan $150,000 to buy-out of his bet. It seems the great man just couldn’t face life without his bangers and mash.

Dwan told Kara Scott in an interview after the bet was made,that he would only be interested in such a bet if it was for several million dollars.

Each Bet Stands and Fails on Money, Not Details

Each bet will stand and fall on the amount of money that is being wagered and not the details of the bet.

If Perkins makes the sex bet worth Esfandiari’s while, and doesn’t include a buy-out clause, then Esfandiari will be taking Perkins' money.

Had Dwan agreed to a larger bet without a buy-out clause then Ivey would have sailed through a year without meat.

So I disagree with the poker community. Not having penetrative sex for a year is a walk in the park. But not having sex of any kind is a different ball game altogether.

A game that is played with two balls and both of them are blue.