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Celebs take on WSOP Main Event
Brad Garrett and Jason Alexander don't have any illusions about their chances in the Main Event at the 2009 World Series of Poker.
"I don't belong here," Garrett told PokerListings.com. "I'm not going to lie to you.
"I paid my money and I'm happy to be here. It's like when I golf: I have no reason to be out there either but I love the torture. I love the torture."
"Brad is in over his head," said Alexander. "When they hand him the 30,000 [starting stack] he should hand half of it back."
Both men are familiar faces at the Main Event, having played the tournament repeatedly over the last four years.
Despite their experience, neither actor puts much stock in his chance to win the top prize.
"It's just fun," said Garrett. "I have a lot of buddies that do it and it's great."
"PokerStars is nice enough to sponsor me for this," said Alexander. "I try to have fun at the table. I have no fantasies about what's going on here."
Garrett told PokerListings he sees the Main Event as sport.
"The poker pros, they're like my athletes," he said. "I just love it. I know I don't have the math mind."
The "Everybody Loves Raymond" actor does, however, have a weakness.
"I have a tell," he said. "When I get a big pair I get incontinent. You don't want to sit next to me. I will actually shit."
Alexander said he could identify with Garrett's feelings of poker inadequacy.
"When I first came in the first year I was just intimidated," he said. "I thought, 'I don't belong here' and I really didn't, but it was fun.
"So now I come back and say, 'So here's a game I've spent a lot of time putting some education into.' I'm not a player but I enjoy being with players. I enjoy the social aspect of it."
Neither man seemed to think their respective fame had anything to do with how other players treated them at the tables.
"They know I suck so they play like they know I suck," Garrett said. "People don't know what I have because I have a lot of shit.
"I played 8-2. I don't give a shit. I have my fun and then I want to go home and get a hooker; I'm not going to lie to you."
"The pros probably [play differently against me] because they know exactly what I am," said Alexander. "They have a pretty sharp assessment of me and they're not worried about me.
"The guys that don't really know and think I'm better than I am, they probably adjust the game too and everybody is wrong.
"That's the great thing about this game: that everyone is wrong because it's such a strange stupid game," Alexander said.
"I mean, this hand I just won a few minutes ago I had a straight that was hidden that nobody could see. Idiot dumb luck."
Alexander told PokerListings he thought a third celebrity player was the man to watch on Day 1a.
"[Rap star] Nelly hasn't been playing long, but he's very sharp and very aggressive," he said.
"He doesn't fool around. He's fun at the table; he's very approachable. I was having fun chatting him up, but he's scary.
"He got scary really quick. I thought if I called him he might shiv me or something."
Nelly was eliminated midway through play on Day 1a, while Alexander and Garrett were still hovering around their 30k starting stacks at the dinner break.
Garrett told PokerListings he had a fail-proof plan for success after dinner.
"I think I'll take my shirt off," he said. "Down to a nipple ring and a magnet."