Playing By The Rules

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Playing by the Rules

Billy Bob raised his gun and cocked the trigger. "I ain't listenin' Willy!" he slurred drunkenly, his whiskey breath engulfing the table with noxious fumes.

"You're one lucky sonuvagun and I ain't payin' ya!" continued Bob, referring to the $400 bet he had just made, which he'd lost when One-Eyed Willy, notorious for chasing long-shot draws, had hit a straight on the river.

"P..p..put down the gun Bob. No need to git crazy!" stammered Ned the barman, nervously polishing the glass he had lost interest in some time ago and planning his escape route if things turned any nastier.

As One-Eyed Willy reached for his own weapon in self-defense, Billy Bob tightened his grip on the trigger, his finger curling round till the crucial pressure point was breached.

BANG!

Willy bent double, groaning and clutching his stomach, a river of crimson pouring out of the gaping hole that wasn't there moments ago.

"I told ya Willy. That's whay ya don't chase them gut-shots!"

The barman scuttled into a backroom at the sound of gunfire and cowered in the corner. His wife had likewise taken cover.

"Mary ... we're gonna need more sawdust!"

* * * * * * * * * * *

Back in the day, poker was a game played by scoundrels, scallywags, villains and lowlifes. It took place in seedy locales, where violence, cheating and general boorish behavior were rife, and finding a straight game was akin to finding the proverbial needle in a haystack.

Nowadays poker has hit the mainstream and become a fashionable, accepted pastime. Although a few grizzled veterans remain from the bad old days as a tenuous link to the past, poker has brushed up and cleaned up its image.

Scoundrels, cheats and misfits have been replaced by a varied and eclectic representation of modern-day society, with movie stars, celebrities, doctors, lawyers, skinny Internet kids and hot girls all queuing up to try their luck at the felt.

These days players feel safe in a poker environment and the chances of gunshot reprisals for unpopular play are closer to zero than ever before.

So with poker embracing a clean, comfortable, socially acceptable future, one aspect of the game that desperately needs to be cleaned up is the rules.

Chip Reese: Gentleman of the game.

As it stands, you can walk into a hundred different casinos around the world and encounter a hundred different interpretations of them.

This is not acceptable and detracts from poker's reputation as it vies to be held in the same regard as other mainstream activities and sports.

Two examples today demonstrate the problem with not having a uniform set of rules.

The first involves a player who repeatedly pushed his chips over the line without letting them go. There was confusion as to whether this should be allowed, which was further complicated by the player's poor grasp of the English language.

It's very easy to have a set rule here to prevent any potential angle-shooting attempts. Such a rule should be put in place, as players may use the ambiguity surrounding this gray area to gain additional reads and indulge in other nefarious activities.

Creating a rule, e.g. once the chips pass the line, that bet becomes valid, and forcing TDs to abide by it, would stop confusion in its tracks.

The second example of rule inconsistency centered around Phil Hellmuth. After a classic rant during last night's play, where Hellmuth repeatedly berated a player for making what he regarded as a "bad play," Hellmuth was warned and, following repeated infractions, penalized by being told he would have to miss a round of play the following day.

At the time this was quite crucial, as the round would have lost Hellmuth over 10% of his stack.

When the tournament reconvened the following day, lo and behold, Hellmuth's ban had been lifted and a statement was released as follows:

"Warnings and penalties are intended to correct inappropriate behavior and our rulings should be as fair as possible, given the circumstances. In this instance, the punishment did not fit the crime.

"Phil has now been warned and put on notice in a way that he never has been."

This was not a satisfactory explanation for the leniency shown toward Hellmuth. Suspicion abounded among the media that it had just been a case of assisting a name player.

Hellmuth: Treated too leniently?

Again, this is something that should be avoided.

Although clearly there is commercial pressure for the big names to be involved in the latter stages of tournaments, this shouldn't extend to bending or changing the rules to facilitate their success, or it will make a mockery of the game we all want to see sanitized and improved.

The TDA has put together a pretty comprehensive set of rules and if these could be used universally, the game would be in a healthier state.

If we are looking to fully shed the archaic perception of poker as a seedy underworld game, then this is a necessary step.

We should be trying to create a brave new world for the game where poker is globally recognized as a clean, reputable pursuit, not papering over cracks in the rules of the game just to pander to commercial forces.

We don't need more sawdust, Mary, just a rulebook we all agree on.