The Poker Reporter Blog

Top 5 Personas to Use to Mislead Your Table

Created By: Ronnie Schwartz Posted in: The Poker Reporter Blog, PokerListed
2008 Sep 15
Ilari Sahamies

Much like an actor selecting a character to portray, a poker player joining a table of strangers has the opportunity to represent any persona he wants.

In essence, poker with strangers is like Halloween without the costumes - although wearing one is not out of the question.

The following is a list of the five best personas to bring to a table to mislead your opponents and make them think you're something other than what you really are.

5) The Mean Mugger. A classic for anyone looking to let off some steam and play the bully role for the evening. The character comes to the table with a furrowed brow and a restless scowl. The Mean Mugger is in a perpetual bad mood and does not enjoy anyone else's company or attempted cordiality.

Beware: this persona won't win you many friends and can quickly put you under siege from courageous combatants looking to counter with their own resilience.

Rolf Slotboom
Rolf Slotboom: Mastered the friendly foreigner look.

4) The Friendly Foreigner. This player is best represented by pretending to be a foreigner with little or no knowledge of the local language but a thirsty desire to play some cards.

Free rein is given for choice of language to use as your mother tongue, but be careful not to represent a language that someone at the table might recognize. If someone tries to communicate with you just laugh hysterically and try to do your best Roberto Benigni impersonation until they stop talking to you.

Proper execution of this plan should lead to scooping many sweet pots. Once the jig is up, get outta Dodge.

3) The Energetic Epicenter. This one requires a lot of energy and rambunctiousness, so be sure to consume a minimum of three times the recommended vodka-Red Bull intake prior to your session.

Your goal here is to get the entire room curious about your table and all the hands that are played there. The manifest fiasco you create will hopefully distract normally astute players and make the nervous novice players succumb to the pressure of the suddenly growing audience.

Launching this role will be easier than sustaining it. Be sure that you have the requisite stamina before beginning along this route. Sometimes being a loudmouth is harder than it looks.

2) The Braggadocio Baller. Let's be honest, your table probably already has one.

John Guth
Every table's got one.

Tables always do. Whether it's the guy with more rings than the Olympics or the pretentious phony who invests more in his clothes than his personal hygiene, poker tables are breeding grounds for these types.

If you decide to be this guy for a session or two, there are a few things to consider. First, most people don't really care that you have sufficient funds to buy expensive things to show off while at the table. Save it for the yacht club.

Secondly, your opponents want your money the most. So although you are trying to create a façade (you hope) with this image, be sure to back it up with solid play. Since you are going to be targeted, you have a good chance of winning some big pots without having the best of it.

You are, however, likely to get called down when you do play the nuts and make a huge overbet on the river, all the while pretending the chips mean nothing to you because, of course, you are so baller!

Phil Hellmuth
May have qualified online.

1) The Poker Promoter. Taking on this role, you basically become the human billboard for poker. Every single article of clothing on your body has some sort of affiliation and it becomes abundantly clear to all in your vicinity that, yes, clearly, you have earned these articles of clothing through your extensive participation in online poker games.

You must be careful with this role as one of a variation of things could occur. Most likely people will give you credit for having a lot of experience in the game but at the same time, to your benefit, you will get the intangible benefits of pity from most of your opponents for your certain lack of social connection and your obvious fashion shortcomings.

This is a tricky persona, but tackled correctly, it can leave you walking back to the cashier with more racks than you started with!

More poker Top 5 lists:

Comments

1

  1. PokerPhan

    2008-09-16

    This is one of the best articles I've read on how to play the table. I had to laugh when I read this because I've seen every one of these personas a the tables, in life, and on television.

    I've seen them so often that I became blind to them - then when you described them - I could 'see' them.

    'Off to read more of your blog...'

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