Since there are clearly more than five etiquette breaches you can make (or will frequently find others making) in live poker, my Online players have been known to break monitors, mice, windows, walls and laptops. Remember it's always -EV to throw your laptop into a pool.
When playing live, there are not nearly as many options for things to destroy. One of the few things within your grasp: your cards.
I've seen players tear cards apart, bend them on the table and snap them in half with their fist, crumple them into the palm of their hand, throw them off the table and even take a bite out of them.
I can understand your rage - even empathize with it. But it's still not OK to act like a two-year-old in public.
2) Assaulting the Dealer. Ladies and gentleman, the dealer is doing his or her job to the best of his or her ability. Dealers are absolutely not responsible for any of the following:
- Being card-dead
- Losing a pot
- Getting bad beat
They deal the cards - they don't stack the decks. It is never OK to assault a dealer verbally or physically, throw your cards at them or give them the stink eye (or its cousin, the crook eye).
The shuffle machine is not biased. It does not have a personal agenda against you. It is not out to get you. It does not know what any of the cards are; all it does is shuffle them. You do not lose pots because of the shuffle machine.
And finally, when a dealer accidentally exposes a card when dealing, flipping over your ace, let it go. Cards are shuffled and therefore dealt at random. There is just as good a chance that the dealer will expose a two and replace it with an ace as expose an ace and replace it with a two.
Mistakes happen. If you can honestly say you've never made a mistake, then you can cast the first stone. Otherwise, stop complaining.
I would tell you to play online, but people who assume the casino Shufflemaster is rigged are the same ones prone to assume online poker is rigged.
1) Attacking Other Players. I've put attacking other players ahead of attacking dealers, simply because I am another player and I don't like getting attacked.
When another player beats you fair and square, it's simply not acceptable to attack this person. But better players will often verbally assault less skilled opponents, usually with steam-fueled comments on how badly they play.
These comments are poor etiquette, as every player is permitted to play their own hand any way they like. It's also -EV, as explained in this article.
The next step in verbal assault is when a player completely loses their cool, starting with threats and profanity. Finally, the worst of all attacks against other players are physical ones.
In a pot won fairly and squarely, only once twice have I seen someone get attacked. Both times the losing player casually got up, walked over to the winner and cold-cocked them in the back of the head.
Security, and the winning player, frown upon this. Getting a bad beat is not license to dish out a beating of your own.
On the opposite side of the scale, but also poor etiquette, is helping another player.
1b) Helping Another Player. I can't tell you how many times I've lost half, or all, of a pot to someone after they get help from a "helpful player" at the table. It always goes down like this:
There are four clubs and one heart on the board. I turn over top set, no club. My opponent is in the act of folding. Some jackass not in the hand speaks up: "You don't have any clubs at all?" The folding player says, "What?"
Jackass: "Show any club and you win." I lose the pot.
Thanks jackass; thanks for being so helpful. It is never your job to help another player. It is always up to the player to show their own hand. If a player's set to fold a winning hand, it is their option to do so.
The rule is simple: One player per hand.
When in doubt, remember this saying: "If you're not in the hand, stay out of the hand." It's not your job to let someone know when they're making a mistake, so just don't do it.
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