Yes, I said it: I'm happy.
Right now I'm taking a mini break from the WSOP, poker and Vegas by staying at Borgata's new signature hotel in Atlantic City: The Water Club. The Water Club is a beautiful boutique hotel and all I can say is that I'm in love with this place!
Make sure to check back for my blog about this amazing hotel, along with all the things I've been up to. It's been almost a week here in A.C. and all my problems are a thing of the past, at least that's what it feels like. Finally I'm relaxed and truly ready to begin the next step in my life.
Back in April I wrote that I was ready to start a new chapter and move on. However that's easier said than done.
It's been two months of hard work and faking a smile until the real one appeared. I had to take a few more hits as well to learn my lesson and get things straight.
I debated over writing about the depression I was going through. It was one of the main reasons I hadn't written a blog in two months.
Then I realized I wasn't the only one out there going though this. I started getting e-mails from all over the world with friends going though this same thing. So maybe, just maybe, I can help reach someone out there going though what I've had to experience.
If that "someone" happens to be you, the one thing I wish for you is that you'll have the strength to hang on. It will get better, but only if you let it.
How exactly does one get out of a depression? Who the hell knows is my answer.
Honestly, I tried everything and I still don't know. A great friend told me that time heals all wounds. It's the kind of advice that no one wants to hear when all you want is a quick fix, but it really is the truth.
With each passing day I got further and further from all the things that brought me to that dark place. After time you start to think about other things and all the painful memories slip ever so slightly to the back of your mind. The pain doesn't disappear, but the sting slowly goes away.
For me I had to get out of bed and start a new day, a new life. Some days were better than others, but with each good day I was closer to my goal: to be happy.
I had to surround myself with great friends that let me cry on their shoulders and sometimes puke on their shirts. Definitely not something I'm proud about, but it showed who my true friends were. I know I've said this before, but without these friends I never would have made it.
In May I decided to take a road trip with Bryan Devonshire, Gavin Smith and a few other people to Vancouver, on a whim, for the Coast to Coast Poker Championship. It was the best decision I ever made and I had the time of my life.
Don't worry; I'll be posting all about the fun and debauchery we got into very soon. It was the perfect vacation to have before the World Series of Poker.
Only I wasn't ready to come back to Las Vegas. I still had some healing to do.
So far I've played two events at the WSOP, gone deep and eventually busted before the money. Both times I forced myself to believe that I was mentally prepared to play, only to find out that there were still some distractions I had to get rid of.
After this trip to Atlantic City I'll be on my way to playing well and being the happiest girl in the world. The best is yet to come, my friends.
Until next time, bonne chance!
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