The saying "When it rains it pours" keeps coming to mind. I didn't realize how difficult it would be to write after all the things that have happened.
When your life does a complete 180 you're never prepared. Currently I'm experiencing a devastating breakup, being in the hospital earlier this month, and now problems with my father. It has brought me to my knees.
It's so difficult to sit in front of a computer to write when you can't even see to type from all the tears. Not to mention who wants to read a depressing blog when there are about 8 billion others to read that can lift your spirit?
This is now my time to move on and pick up where I left off... getting ready for the WSOP. I've set up goals and even though I'm not where I thought I would be, I'm ready to start a new chapter.
I promise that from now on things will be better and all my blogs will be entertaining. So here is my attempt at being positive and happy today. Please bear with me - I'm trying really hard.
This past week has been wonderful with all my friends who have tried to cheer me up. I couldn't have made it without them... and that's the truth. Even though I remained Debbie Downer everyone still stood beside me and made me smile even if only for a few seconds. I love you all; you know who you are.
Last Friday provided one of many examples of one of my closest friends trying their best to cheer me up. That morning I was getting ready for a callback that my agent was sending me on, and after that I would be on my way to the Venetian.
Not only is it a good cause in general, but I'm secretly dying inside to have a dog. I'm never home to be a good mommy, though. There's this puppy store next door to my supermarket. Late at night it's fun to stand outside the window and watch the puppies wreak havoc in the place.
So you can see why raising money to make sure that cute little animals all have a place to live - even the older ones - makes me feel all warm inside. What a fun day to be excited about, right?
After putting on my makeup I was listening to my new favorite Web site: www.pandora.com. (I highly recommend you spend just three minutes on this site; you will be hooked.) A song came on that for some reason brought me to tears and I couldn't stop.
I had ruined my makeup and my eyes were red and swollen. I crawled back into bed and cried myself to sleep. I gave up on the day and that was that.
Around 1 p.m. I received a phone call from Brad Booth to say that he had just landed in Vegas. I told him what had happened and that I was going to sleep the day off.
He wouldn't take no for an answer and told me I had 30 minutes to get myself together and head to the Bellagio. I was going to the tournament and I was going to have fun - or at least that was the plan.
We took a limo to the Venetian and as usual Brad did his best to make me laugh the whole way there. We arrived at 2:05 and walked up to a huge crowd of people and bright lights in front of the poker room.
The red carpet was set up in front where you normally sign in for the cash games. Only this time they gave you an animal to walk with that was from the shelter.
I wasn't quite ready to be this social and wanted to turn around and leave. I haven't been out that much this past month and still haven't figured out how to present myself. Do I fake it and act all happy and say things are great?
Or do I say I'm doing horrible, my world has been crushed and my heart ripped out and shredded? Hmm... the latter doesn't usually go over too well in interviews. Believe me, I know from interviewing second-place bust-outs during the WSOP last year that it's easy to tell when someone is hurting.
As I got closer I dragged my feet and cringed. Brad saw how I was acting and insisted it was going to be fine, saying he'd even walk down the red carpet with me. When I joined the crowd I realized almost every poker pro had shown up to support Jennifer's charity.
And then all the positive energy from seeing old friends and raising money for a great cause started to erase all the sad feelings I had inside and I began to enjoy the moment.
Here I was talking earlier in my blogs at PokerListings about how the next tournament you play in make sure to have fun and enjoy the moment. This was my chance to practice what I was preaching.
Make sure to check back next week where I'll talk about the tournament itself and all the fun stories from the night.
Until next week, Bonne chance!
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