Good-Bye, Dad

I have grieved for my father the last 12 months, and I've suffered at times. Physically for part of the year, but mainly mentally and emotionally.

The one-year ceremony for the death of my father was conducted yesterday. For the last two weeks, I've worked hard to plan two special ceremonies.

Ninety monks from different temples all came to pray and participate in the ceremony. There aren't any Web sites where you order 90 monks for a ceremony - you have to invite each monk individually.

One of the highlights for me was my experience with a photographer for the ceremony.

I'm a big flickr fan, and I've always followed the work of Ian Morton on his Web site. He captures the beauty of my homeland in everyday life and everyday people.

Blessings from 90 monks. Photo: Ian Morton.

I reached out to him to see if he was in the area and would be available to shoot the ceremony. We met at a coffee shop, and he told me he would not accept payment for the photography.

"If you would donate the fee I charge as part of your next charity, that would be enough for me," he told me.

I can't wait to see the pictures. He didn't want anything staged, he just wanted to lurk in the background as he captured all of the images of the day.

Ninety monks unite. Photo: Ian Morton.

It has been a special time for me. These last few weeks have been a great time of spiritual renewal. My times with the monks and in the remote areas of my homeland have brought humbleness to me.

I didn't fully understand that my greatest pain was spiritual until these last few weeks. I don't know if I needed to change or not, but I have been tweaked and twittered a bit.

I normally stay at the nicest hotel in Saigon, but I've been with my aunt during my stay. One-thousand thread-count sheets and ultra luxurious spas have been replaced by no A/C and sharing a bed with my niece. And it has been so special.

Releasing one of 1,260 birds. Photo: Ian Morton.

We eat promptly at noon, again at 3:00, take a nap, then eat again at 7:00. Each day with relatives who have taken me in without expectation but also without pampering.

During the ceremony, I also released 1,260 birds. In my culture, the release of a bird gives it freedom and life, taking away a sin from the loved one being honored. Afterward, as I sat in prayer, a lone feather floated in from the window and landed in my lap.

Lieu: Grief replaced with honor; pain replaced by peace. Photo: Ian Morton.

Last year, I cried and cried during both the 49th-day and 100th-day ceremonies for my father. Yesterday, I really wanted to cry for him, but it was different.

My grief had been replaced with honor, my pain replaced with peace. At one point, a few tears drifted down my cheek, and I wasn't sure where they had come from.

I'm really happy now. I feel at peace now. All of the best wishes and messages from you have been so helpful, really for this entire year for me.

I'll write more on LizLieu.net later in the week. Thank you, and thanks to PokerListings for sharing this with you. They didn't have to do this as there really isn't much poker in this post, but thank you just the same.

-- Liz Lieu

www.LizLieu.net
www.iPokerCal.com

More Blogs from Liz Lieu:

• Alone with my Father
• The Downside of Blogs
• A Day Off With More to Do
• What's Up With the Pros?