You get hit with a two-outer in a $350 BB pot and your first inclination is to break something.
Once that subsides, you start looking for someone to share in your misery. Here's the thing though: Nobody you know cares. They've all heard a million bad beat stories and they're all the same.
So quit pestering your buddy on MSN and bring your burden to PokerListings.com. From now on I will be your Bad Beat Counselor!
Even if your friends don't really care (and they don't, trust me), for some strange reason sharing your bad beats does actually make you feel better. I don't really know why. A simple "That sucks, man" is usually enough to at least take the edge off.
So here is what I propose to you, loyal PokerListings reader:
By reading this blog you've earned the right to shower me with bad beat stories. The worse they are, the better. I'll look them over, pick the worst of the worst and give those involved some much-needed couch time. I'll let you down easy and give you some quick words of encouragement.
It's a win-win situation for everyone. If you're on a heater, you can laugh at all the poor bastards getting smacked by the cold hand of variance. If on the other hand you are one of those poor bastards, you can take solace in the fact you're not alone.
To start it off I'll share with you one of my beats. I just recently made the jump to $1/$2 on PokerStars and have been hit with the dreaded move-up curse;
No-Limit Hold'em ring game
Blinds: $1/$2, six players
Pre-flop: (6 players) Hero is cut-off with A♦ A♥.
Two folds, I raises to $8, button folds, SB raises to $24, BB folds, I raises all-in $362.15, SB calls all-in $171.
Uncalled bets: $167.15 returned to ME.
Flop: K♠ 8♣ J♥ ($199, 0 player + 2 all-in - Main pot: $392)
Turn: J♦ ($199, 0 player + 2 all-in - Main pot: $392)
River: 6♥ ($199, 0 player + 2 all-in - Main pot: $392)
Final pot: $392
SB showed K♣ K♦
Hero mucks A♦ A♥
Yeah; just your standard cooler gone wrong. Oh well - nothing you can do, right? WRONG.
You can complain to me! So there you have it boys and girls. Ship your bad beats to this address: firstname.lastname@example.org. Seriously. The address exists, and I'll hear you out.
If you can, just copy and paste the hand history file and I'll deal with it from there.
Hope to see some sick ones. Until next week...
-- Daniel Skolovy