Long time no bad beat counseling. However, last week I received a worthy e-mail. (As always, you can ship your bad beats to badbeats@pokerlistings.com.)

So once again it's time to make ourselves feel better by laughing at the misery of others. Don't get all high and mighty and pretend you aren't like that, because you are.

Who doesn't laugh when a dude gets hit in the groin with a football? It's undeniably funny. As are bad beats (when they happen to other people), so without further ado, here she is.

This beat comes to us by way of e-mail from Mark K. I figure we can use the Strategy Snapshot style to break this puppy down.

Some backstory. Mark is a regular $1/$2 player but today decides to get out of the kiddie pool and start making some moves. The game in question is Unlimited Hold them, with $2/$5 blinds.

Players: Mark and two unknowns

Game: $2/$5

Situation: No-Limit Hold'em

Stack Sizes:

Mark - $500; MP - $1,500; BB - $700

The Setup

Marky gets dealt A♣ A♦. He makes it $15 to go under the gun.

A player in middle position three-bets to $45 and the big blind calls. Mark makes a four-bet to $135 and both of his hapless opponents come along for the ride.

The board comes A♠ A♥ 4♠. The big blind for some reason now figures it's time to bet $100 into the $360 pot. Mark makes the easy smooth-call with the coconuts and for some reason the genius in middle position shoves all-in.

The big blind calls and Mark double chair twirl fist pump calls and excitedly turns over the stone-cold legumes. MP sheepishly shows the K♠ T♠ and the big blind shows the 2♠ 5♠.

The turn bricks the K♥ and I think you know where this is going: the river brings the 3♠, giving the big blind the even stoner cold nuts, the steel-wheel ace-to-five straight flush.

Poor Mark is left crying in his beer as the $1,300 pot is shipped to the genius big blind. Don't forget that it was $135 pre-flop!

The Resolution

Surely that's not the end, right? Surely there is some sort of bad beat jackpot? Yeah; you're right. Mark hit the bad beat and lived happily ever after.

Well... that's partially true. While Mark did hit the bad beat jackpot, it had been won earlier that day ($22,000) and there was no carryover or seed amount.

The entire BBJ consisted of a paltry $1,000 to be split 50% to him, 25% to "thats why they call it gamblin..." with doot five spades, and 25% to the rest of the table. So Mark ended up with the exact same amount that he started the hand with.

Mark, here's to you man. I feel your pain. A savage beat. But hey - at least you broke even. Right?... Right?

More blogs from the Bad Beat Counselor:

• Dear Bad Beat Counselor: Rating Severe
• Dear Bad Beat Counselor: I Loathe Poker