Seth: Schwartz, where have you been, man? You almost gave me a goddamn heart attack. Let me see it. Did you pussy out or what?
Schwartz: No noooo, man. Just been running good in the $10k PLO, taking a massive chip lead into Day 3. But I got it; it is flawless. Check it!
Evan: [examining the fake ID] Hawaii. All right, that's good. That's hard to trace, I guess. Wait ... you changed your name to ... McSchwartz?
Evan: McSchwartz? What kind of a stupid name is that? That's not very far from your own name.
Schwartz: They let you pick any name you want when you get down there.
Seth: And you landed on McSchwartz ...
Schwartz: Yeah. It was between that or Muhammed.
Seth: Why the fuck would it be between THAT or Muhammed? Why don't you just pick a common name like a normal person?
Schwartz: Muhammed is the most commonly used name on Earth. Read a fucking book for once.
Evan: Schwartz, have you actually ever met anyone named Muhammed?
Schwartz: Have YOU actually ever met anyone named McSchwartz?
Seth: No, that's why you picked a dumb fucking name!
Schwartz: Fuck you.
Seth: Gimme that. All right, you look like a future pedophile in this picture, number 1. Number 2: it doesn't even have a first name, it just says "McSchwartz"!
Evan: What? One name? ONE NAME? Who are you? Seal?
Seth: Wait, why are you even getting a fake ID? You're officially entered in a tournament for players 21 and over. This license has also expired.
Schwartz: Fuck you.
Umm yeah. Hitting a dead end on that one there.
Anyway, as players head into Day 3 in the $10K PLO World Championship, Noah "probablytiredofbeingcalledMclovin" Schwartz is sitting very pretty with a massive 1.2 million chip stack - twice that of his nearest competitor Markus Golser.
With just 25 players left, McSchwartz is poised to make a big push for his first WSOP bracelet, although he has some serious hurdles to cross in the form of Matt Graham, Barry Greenstein, Josh Arieh and Vitaly Lunkin.
To check in on his progress, find Day 3 updates starting at 2 p.m. here.